(This entry dedicated to a generous $10 jar donation. The benefactor requested that the moneys be used on dessert.)
Attempt Uno: The Fererro Rocher World Record Eating Challenge
Among the famous competitive eating world record holders: Donald Lerman holds the world record for butter; 7 quarter pound sticks in 5 minutes. Richard LeFevre holds the SPAM world record; 6 pounds in 12 minutes. And someone holds the Ferrero Rocher world record; 7 balls of chocolate in 60seconds. The latter is the record we intended to beat.
(insert video..somehow?)
Cast: Officiator - Ms. Carolyn, inhabitant of a place of outstanding natural beauty
Contestant#1 - Amy, inquisitor of French tourists & NYC squirrels
Contestant#2 - Jaz, eater of things containing sugar
the results.. a (large) swallow away from matching the current world record.
Attempt Dos: Crème Crackers World Record Eating Challenge
Apparently, the world record for number of crème crackers eaten in a minute is 6. I laughed at the figure and with much bravado claimed the record could be easily beat. After attempting to eat seven crackers, the results were a face full of crumbs and approximately 5 crackers bulging in mouth, chewed but not swallowed.
Attempt Très: Stodge-Blob World Record Eating Challenge
Stodge-blobs (an invented name) are a mass of unknown sweetness found (so far) only on Isabela Island. An eating challenge in this arena would guarantee a World Champion as well as make the odds of beating the record very difficult. Therefore, with a 50% chance of holding the title, it was only reasonable to accept the challenge.
(pictures courtesy of C.Y.)
The results.. ate a hell-of-a-lot of food with no title-holding credentials. Congratulations to Rob, official Stodge-blob World Record Holder.
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